Meditation: A Personal Journey of Discovery
Two and a half years ago, I embarked on a meditation journey, seeking solace and centering after emerging from the shadows of a toxic relationship.
Two and a half years ago, after emerging from a toxic relationship, I found myself searching for something to help me regain my inner balance. This search led me to meditation, a practice that continues to transform my perception of life and my own mind day by day.
The Beginning of the Journey
I began this journey using guided meditation apps. While initially intimidating, this approach provided the structure and guidance I needed as a beginner. As my practice evolves, I find myself resonating more with approaches that focus on the practical aspects of mindfulness. However, I'm aware that I still have much to learn and that each day brings new challenges and opportunities for growth.
For me, meditation isn't about seeking transcendental experiences. Instead, it's about cultivating a deeper self-awareness, learning step by step to observe my thoughts and emotions without judgment. This mindfulness practice is gradually becoming an integral part of my daily life, complementing other aspects of my personal development.
Slowly, I'm learning to view my thoughts and emotions as a more detached observer, though I don't always succeed. It's an ongoing process, with ups and downs, but each session offers me a chance to practice this skill.
Discoveries and Challenges
One of the fascinating discoveries for me has been experiencing consciousness as a kind of "virtual space." In this space, thoughts, emotions, and sensations appear and disappear spontaneously. I observe how they follow a natural flow, evolving organically from moment to moment.
When I realize I've been absorbed by this flow - which happens quite often - I try to create a small conscious pause. In those moments, I strive to return to physical sensations, such as breathing or contact with the ground. I don't always succeed, but each attempt seems to strengthen this practice.
An ongoing lesson for me is not to attribute negative significance to moments when my mind wanders. I try to remind myself that there's no "perfect meditation" - each session, with its challenges, is part of the process. The practice is about observation and awareness, not about achieving an impossible ideal.
Meditation in Daily Life
Perhaps the most interesting aspect of my meditation practice is how I'm beginning to notice small changes in daily life. Sometimes - not always, but increasingly often - I notice there's a small pause between perceiving a thought or emotion and my reaction to it.
This increased awareness seems to be gradually improving my communication skills and interpersonal relationships. There are moments when I manage to respond more balanced instead of reacting, though it's clear I still have a lot of work to do in this direction.
Through meditation, I've discovered a valuable tool for self-exploration and personal growth. It's a continuous journey of returning to the present, observing the ebb and flow of the mind. With each day, I learn to navigate a little better in the vast landscape of my inner world, though the path is far from smooth or predictable.
Meditation hasn't solved all my problems - and I don't expect it to - but it offers me tools to approach life with a bit more clarity and balance. It's a practice I continue to explore, constantly discovering new aspects and challenges.
If you're curious about exploring meditation, I encourage you to start with small steps and be patient with yourself. There's no "perfect" practice - each moment of awareness, however brief or imperfect, is a step forward. You might discover, as I do day by day, that the peace and clarity you seek are closer than you think, waiting to be explored with patience and curiosity.
